Witam. Jestem w 1 klasie liceum i mam do napisania esej dotyczący mundurków (czy warto je wprowadzić w szkole czy nie). Jestem na kontynuacji języka, ale zdarza mi się robić niezłe błędy, bo nie jestem zbyt dobra z angielskiego. Napisałam ten esej i mam prośbę czy mógłby ktoś go sprawdzić i poprawić błędy, bo takie na pewno są?
PS. Nie każcie mi usuwać zbyt wielu wyrazów, bo musi mieć min. 200 słow ;)
Oto on:
In many schools in our country students wear uniforms. It's a good idea but have a drawbacks, too.
Let's discuss about advantages and disadvantages wear uniforms.
Firstly argument for uniforms is that identical clothes in school introduce discipline.
Many students worry about their clothes instead worry about schoolwork.
Introduce uniforms we might stopped that, so students can better concentrate on study.
Another argument it's a uniforms removing difference between rich and poor people.
Uniforms are cheap but students wear it look elegant.
Thirdly, uniforms help identify intruders in the school.
So these clothes might secure school and pupils before dangerous people.
There are also some drawbacks of uniforms are useless outside the school.
We can't wear it after school because we might damage that.
Second argument against is that uniforms limit the freedom of style.
Our country is free and democratic and we schould wear what we want
and other people shouldn't have infuence on it. It's our life and our decision.
Another argument ending my essay is that all students look the same
and this is boring and kills ther individualism.
Everybody are different and we shouldn't hide that.
In conclusion I think uniforms it's a good idea because I see more advantages than disadvantages.
Even if it a bad idea we take experience and we will know
or better safe the school and students or our individualism.
Wiem, że kiepski jest, ale na prawdę nie mam głowy do takich rzeczy. Pomóżcie proszę!
A propos pierwszych błędów
"innana89" napisał::?
a drawbacks
"innana89" napisał:
Let's discuss about advantages
Dzięki za pierwszą poprawkę, wiem że dużo mam błędów, więc byłabym wdzięczna za kolejne uwagi.
drawbacks to chyba wady są?
"innana89" napisał:
Firstly argument for uniforms is that identical clothes in school introduce discipline.
Many students worry about their clothes instead worry about schoolwork.
Introduce uniforms we might stopped that, so students can better concentrate on study.
Another argument it's a uniforms removing difference between rich and poor people.
Uniforms are cheap but students wear it look elegant.
Thirdly, uniforms help identify intruders in the school.
So these clothes might secure school and pupils before dangerous people.
There are also some drawbacks of uniforms are useless outside the school.
We can't wear it after school because we might damage that.
Second argument against is that uniforms limit the freedom of style.
Dziękuje humane bardzo mi pomagasz.
Jeśli miałbyś jeszcze jakieś uwagi dotyczące końcowej części tekstu i mógłbyś, to również daj jakieś poprawki :)
Our country is free and democratic, so we should wear what we want and others people shouldn't have influence on it. It's our life and our decision.
Another argument ending my essay is that all students look the same and this is boring and it kills their individualism.
Everybody is different and we shouldn't hide that.
In conclusion I think uniforms are a good idea because I see more advantages than disadvantages.
Even if it's a bad idea we do an experience and we will know or better safe the school and students or our individualism.
gdzie byłem pewny to poprawiłem.
Dzięki wielkie Wam za pomoc, liczę na to że już jest dobrze. Dziękuję jeszcze raz! :)
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