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» BoSko
(  Admin -903) 
Wto Wrz 05, 2006 13:25
Jokes
As many of you can be affraid of posting the firs topic in this forum, I begin
blond
At a press conference the Brunettes announce they are going to make a trip to the Moon.
The Redheads speak up "That's been done before, we're going to go to Mars".
The Blondes speak up "That's nothing, we're going to be the first people to go to the Sun".
One of the reporters says "Don't you idiots know that you'll burn up?"
The Blondes say "NO WE WON'T! WE'RE GOING TO GO AT NIGHT!"
» freshness
(Devoted Member-432) 
Sro Wrz 06, 2006 18:39
The king of jungle, the Lion, wanted to make a little clean up in his kingdom so he called all the animalls and said:
-listen you guys, from now on... drinking in forrest is forbidden. If I'll se some drunk animal since now... well... be affraid!
Two days later the lion walks along the jungle when suddenly he founds drunked bunny under the tree. He shakes the drunkard and says:
-hey! haven't you listening? I told you all not to drink!
-um... yeah.. so?
The lion was good inside so he only threw the bunny outside the jungle. A week later the king saw a little creek. Beside the water plants there was some strange straw standing out of the water. The lion came closer, catched the straw and it appeared the be that very same bunny as drunked as before...
-I'VE TOLD YOU NOT TO DRINK IN THE FORREST! HAVEN'T I?
-hey, chief... I understand that you're concerned about the animals, who live in the jungle... BUT BACK OFF FROM US - FISH!
_________________
our arrows will cover the sky over your heads!
...so we will fight in the shade
o postach z zadaniami
» Demon
(Gość)
Wto Kwi 24, 2007 11:59
Joke
Question: How many Jews hold in bucket?
Answer: Two shovels. :D
» jula
(Born-9)
Sob Maj 19, 2007 21:21
Little April
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping,
"Tell me, April, who created the universe?"
When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
"GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour,"
But, April didn't even stir from her slumber.
Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.
"JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good,"
And April fell back asleep. Then the teacher asked April a third question.
"What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?"
And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted,
"IF YOU STICK THAT FUCKING THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME,
I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ASS!”
» xagnesx
(Born-3)
Pią Wrz 21, 2007 13:37
HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE DIED ON THIS CEMENTARY?
ALL OF THEM ;)
a little joke from us
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Agnieszka
» migotka24;)))
(Gość)
Sro Paź 31, 2007 15:37
:P :|
patient:doctor! i think i'm invisble.
doctor: who said that?! :|
» migotka24;)))
(Gość)
Sro Paź 31, 2007 15:41
girl: i can't find my dog! i think he's lost... :cry:
boy: you should put an advertisement in newspaper.
girl: don't be stupid! he can't read.
:roll: :roll: :roll:
» ozzy
( Specjalista -683) 
Czw Lis 01, 2007 22:07
what's the difference between a terrorist and a woman with period ?
with a terrorist you can negotiate :)))
without a shadow of a daubt :P
_________________
dictionary + google = solution
Nie oczekuję wieńców, pokłonów ani pomników ale 'dziękuję' to by kur** wypadało powiedzieć nieraz :-|
» lupka17
(Newbie-12)
Nie Gru 02, 2007 18:08
:D:D:D
» beatka90
(Born-6)
Pon Gru 03, 2007 16:46
:)
_________________
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
» ozzy
( Specjalista -683)
Sob Sty 26, 2008 1:05
A few days ago I heard quite a funny joke on the radio:
Said Hamlet to Ofelia:
"I'll draw a sketch of thee... What kind of pencil shall I use: 2B or not 2B?"
'thee' is the old form of the word "you"
2B or not 2B it sounds like the famous words "two be or not to be" when pronunced. (I've explained it as always when I tell this joke nobody understands what it is 'bout)
I consider it quite funny
_________________
dictionary + google = solution
Nie oczekuję wieńców, pokłonów ani pomników ale 'dziękuję' to by kur** wypadało powiedzieć nieraz :-|
» Primo
( Specjalista -588)
Sob Lut 16, 2008 11:33
:D
Ozzy, I think you needn't have explained that joke at the time. Let's make people think (you can consider me the first one who caught the idea at once).
But yes, that's a good one :wink:
» ozzy
( Specjalista -683)
Pon Lut 18, 2008 16:46
I tried not to explain it while telling it to my friends who study English and nobody caught the idea like you :p They all stared at me with a face as long as a fiddle :p Then I had to to explain them what it is going on :p
I'm afraid most of visitors here wouldn't be able to understand it if I hadn't explained and written it in a 'proper' way, which is why I decided to do so :p
_________________
dictionary + google = solution
Nie oczekuję wieńców, pokłonów ani pomników ale 'dziękuję' to by kur** wypadało powiedzieć nieraz :-|
» bs
(Born-5)
Pon Lut 18, 2008 22:20
Man is talking to God.
The man: God, how long is a million years?
God: To me, it's about a minute.
The man: God, how much is million dollars?
God: To me it's a penny.
The man: God, may I have a penny?
God: Wait a minute.
Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful", wich tense is it?
Student: Obviously it is the past tense.
An elementary school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I will promise not to believe everything your child says happens at home.
» plywak_22
(Born-9)
Pon Lut 18, 2008 22:49
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude,
obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could
think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw in his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.
Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd really hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful
for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behaviour." John was stunned at the change in the bird's
attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behaviour, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?" :D :D :D
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